"Marriage may be compared to a cage; the birds outside despair to get in and those within despair to get out." - Michael de Montaigne
Just six months ago, I received two announcements: one is from a dear friend and the other is from my favorite cousin. My friend was so excited that her long time boyfriend proposed to her (finally!), and now they're planning to get married. The wedding would be held at around May next year. On the other hand, my cousin (who seems to be a happy go lucky person) also found her man, and was excited to tie the knot this coming January. Of course, I'm happy for them but also nervous that they are not ready yet.
It makes me wonder if my friends, at one point in their relationship, had been embraced by some dark cloud that lifted them off the ground and made them forget the travails that plague so many married couples. Nothing comes easy. Think of all the fun only single-blessedness can give. If I were to get married now, there are thousands of things I'll miss, among them are the following:
1. Coming home at four in the morning after a night out with my friends without anybody worrying about me. With a hubby, I would have to go back to being Cinderella, unless I wanted to end my marriage.
2. Littering the bathroom with female things without some guy complaining about it.
3. Having all my money to myself.
4. Occupying the whole bed, using all the pillows and never having to share the blanket.
5. Disappearing during weekends without feeling guilty.
6. Thinking about some guy I fancy without feeling guilty.
7. Working overtime and going home in the dead of night without worrying about dinner.
8. Playing with my nephews and sending them back to their parents the moment they throw a tantrum.
9. Using the calendar to remind me of deadlines and not to count my safe days.
10. No pressure in all things.
Maybe I'm just having so much fun now more than ever.
I don't intend to knock marriage or discourage would-be brides and grooms. This piece is more of a warning. Like, look again before closing that door, unless you left something important that you can't come back for. I've seen some married couples acting lovely-dovey in front of people, even though the husband beats up his wife in the privacy of their home. One friend's marriage looks perfect, but in fact her husband is having an extra marital affair.
Maybe I have delusions about finding Mr. Perfect. Perhaps, I am just too much of a cynic. Maybe my two friends are really in love. Or they have grown more mature and found a deeper meaning in life, while I have been left behind.
I look forward to getting married someday, or more precisely, I like the image of me as a mother. I have very strong maternal instincts. Even now, I already feel a lot of love for my future children. And I fervently hope I will have twin daughters. But in the meantime, I think it's best to be realistic. It would be foolish to get into a situation that will cause one a lot of headache in the future.
Cham regularly writes about her life, marital affairs and all other "issues" around her. You can check her blogs through her http://pamcham.wordpress.com.
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