Before getting married and pledging to spend the rest of your life with someone, there are some key things that you should know about that person. Below are a list of eight things that you should discuss before saying 'I do'.
1. Money: This is one of the most important things to discuss before getting married, because it is the number one reason that people divorce. You and your future life partner need to talk about how you will combine incomes and share expenses. In a marriage, one person is usually responsible for paying the bills each month. The two of you should be aware of the other's spending habits. You should also talk about how much money will be put into savings, 401 K, retirement and other investments. Definitely talk about your debt and how will you manage this obligation as a couple.
2. Communication: Talk, talk, talk. Communication is the foundation to a happy, healthy, long-lasting marriage. Communicate before you get married and after you get married. Never stop communicating about what is important to you. In a marriage, nothing is too large or too small to be talked about.
3. Jobs: Delegate responsibilities and jobs such as paying bills, shopping, walking the dog, cleaning the house. Will one of you stay at home with the children, while the other works?
4. Children: Before getting married, you and your fiancé should definitely be on the same page about children. If you want kids, how many? If you can't have children, this information should definitely be disclosed before you tie the knot. Do you want to adopt, remain childless, use a surrogate or in vitro fertilization? If your spouse has children from another relationship, you should definitely discuss how the children will be parented. You should even talk about your discipline styles. Talking about these things before you get married, will bring you a world of peace down the line.
5. Expectations: Before you get married, talk about where you see your marriage in the short-term and long term future. Also, talk about where you see yourself. Communicating about this early on will help you two work toward fulfilling each other's expectations in your marriage.
6. Sex: If you are a person who needs sex on a daily basis, your future life partner should know this in advance. If you have expectations in the bedroom, communicate openly about your needs. Not being on the same page about sex in your marriage can open up the door to a lot of hurt.
7. Beliefs: Be open about your religious beliefs. The two of you need to determine if you will attend church as a couple or as a family. You need to talk about the impact that religion will have in the upbringing of your children. Are you willing to compromise your religious beliefs or are you unyielding in your religion.
8. Location: You need to discuss where you will reside after you are married. Do you want to live in another city?
Communicating about these things before your are married will help you build a solid foundation for your marriage, or may help your realize that the person your are marrying may not be right for you.
Anne Nichols
Author of Online Marriage Counseling & Advice
http://www.marriagecounselingonline.net
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